Thursday, July 23, 2009
Reason Enough - EH&SSQ
today I got an e-mail from this production company that "thinks I'm a good fit for their company" - it's a 10-month opportunity to travel the country setting up and tearing down monster screens for school assemblies. I thought it sounded like an interesting opportunity, but I felt like I was running from my problems by seriously considering it. So, I'm not going to do it.
I've sent out two more resumes for youth ministry positions, and I'm sending another out tomorrow - Savannah, GA, Wilson, NC, and Alexandria, VA - we'll see what happens.
I'm tired of worrying about it - not like it's doing me any good anyway.
When I'm in the right place, I'll know it - and God will get me there eventually. No worries here! :)
For now...anyway!
Friday, July 10, 2009
passion vs. calling
and that morphed into some kind of decision/discussion as to how our calling fits our passions, etc.
But all day today the idea hasn't left my head.
I've continually asked myself...what if? How could I...???
Is this seriously something I could consider pursuing...and most importantly...HOW could I pursue this?
I mean, a big reason I've taken to applying for church jobs as of late is really to serve as a bridge to a full-time writing career of some sort down the road.
but again...where do I go from here? I mean...I'd hate to think I've had these dreams/desires so long...to think it's all really just a pipe dream. I don't think it is.
I mean, I don't really want to forget that I JUST spent a year of my life earning a creative writing degree just to go back to something that, while I feel called to some degree, frustrated me on so many levels.
I mean, the last time I applied for ministry jobs - I sent out at least 10 resumes and NEVER heard from one church. This time around, I've already sent out that many - and maybe a few more. I've had four interviews (2 interviews for 2 different churches - which is further than I got last time btw). I've heard from one that they don't think the fit is right. I'm still waiting to hear from the other church. Just the other day I sent out two more resumes for church programs (still with the questions to desire/fit/calling running through my head).
So, while I'm looking for that, what's the harm in trying to make contact about some other stuff?
I mean, the best way to discover God's leading is to try ALL the doors, right??
Monday, July 6, 2009
chronic illness...?
can addiction to Christian music ever be a bad thing???
By Your Side
Tenth Avenue North
Why are you striving these days?
Why are you trying to earn grace?
Why are you crying?
Let me lift up your face,
just don't turn away
Why are you lookin' for love?
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough?
To where will you go child?
Tell me where will you run,
To where will you run?
Cause I'll be by your side wherever you fall
In the dead of night, whenever you call
Please don't fight these hands that are holdin' you
My hands are holdin' you
Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in and give you life
I wanna give you life
And I'll be by your side wherever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
Please don't fight these hands that are holdin' you.
My hands are holdin' you
Here at my side
wherever you've fallen
in the dead of night whenever you call
Please don't fight these hands that are holdin' you
My hands are holdin' you
Cause I love you
I want you to know
that I love you
I'll never let you go
Cause I'll be by your side
wherver you fall
in the dead of night
whenever you call
please don't fight
these hands that are holding you
my hands are holding you.
I remember back in April...or May...when they were having the Dove awards...and people were voting for the best new artist - I voted for Addison Road. Then I discovered this group - Tenth Avenue North - and instantly wished I could change my vote!
This group is pretty amazing...thoughtful...insightful lyrics...passionate...
definitely worth the risk of addiction...
And an excellent reminder for me right now...
a great way to keep me focused...to keep my purpose and desires to please God front and center...
and when I'm frustrated...well...God's there the whole time...
because this isn't exactly a stress-free/worry-free time for me...despite the lack of responsibility -
I'm feeling the stress of everyone around me -
-a father who wants more and fears losing everything he's worked for
-a mother feeling pressure from aging parents, a husband with his nose deep in the reality of finacial inadequacy, and a son unwilling to act his age
-a brother unwilling to manage his priorities of family and finances responsibly
-a dwindling savings account and school loans coming back into repayment
-a desire to help, but fear that I may have to stop the things I'm most passionate about - ie. sponsoring my Compassion Child
Let It Go
Tenth Avenue North
I've been holdin' on so tight
Look at these knuckles they've gone white
I'm fighting for who I want to be
I'm just trying to find security
But you say let it go
You say let it go
You say life is waiting for the ones who lose control
You say You will be everything I need
You say if I lose my life it's then I'll find my soul
You say let it go
Well it's hard enough to hear
Harder still to move beyond this fear
We know there's nothing I can bring
So tell me what do You want from me
You say let it go
You say let it go
You say life is waiting for the ones who lose control
You say You will be everything i need
You say if I lose my life its' then I'll find my sould
You say let it go
What do I love?
What do I hate?
What will I lose?
What will I gain?
How do I save my soul?
What if i bend?
What if i break?
What will it cost?
What will it take for you to save my soul?
You say let it go
You say let it go
You say life is waiting for the ones who lose control
You say You will be everythign I need
You say if i lose my life it's then I find my soul
You say let it go
You say let it go...
So-
Lord,
Take my worries - take my concerns...
Bring peace into my life!